10 Hilarious One Liner Jokes
Comedy is very subjective and what one person might funny might not be at all funny to another person. It also comes in a wide range of different forms, from storytelling, to slapstick and also one-liners. Some comedians will focus on one form of comedy over others, with many focusing on one-liners in particular.
One-liners are just as they sound; short jokes that get to the punchline quickly. They are often preprepared, while they can also be the result of some quick, on the spot thinking. Here’s is a look at some one-liner jokes that we think you will find hilarious.
1. Scuba Diving
Why do scuba divers fall out of the boat backwards? Because otherwise they would fall forward into the boat. This is one of those jokes that make you roll your eyes to begin with and tut, but the silliness of the joke will have you laughing before long.
Of course, the correct answer is not as funny as the joke. Scuba divers get into the water this way to protect the gear that they are wearing. For example, diving in forwards can cause the mask or its components to be damaged on impact, or maybe the force will force the mask out of position, potentially causing it to fall off and be lost.
2. Charades
There is not a worse time to have a heart attack than when you are playing charades. Most of you have probably played charades already, or at least know how the game is played. For those that don’t, charades is a game where players have to act out words and phrases, without speaking, and other people have to work out what they are acting.
It brings to mind a vision of a quite comical sight of people trying to guess what is being acted out, even though the actor is genuinely having a heart attack. It also gives an insight in our ability to see humor even in the darkest of topics.
3. Joining a Membership
I don’t want to join any club that would allow me as a member. This line is often attributed to the American writer and comedian Groucho Marx. It is not only funny, but also very clever, because it also involves a paradox that cannot be solved.
It would mean that whoever says the joke would not be able to join any clubs at all. They don’t want to join a club that will take them, and they cannot join a club that cannot take them. It is doubtful that Groucho actually meant what he was saying, however. More likely he was just doing what he was good at, which was making people laugh.
4. Kleptomaniacs and Puns
Kleptomaniacs often don’t get puns, because they take things literally. As you may well already be aware, a kleptomaniac is somebody that has a compulsion to steal things. They literally take things that are not theirs, which is why this joke works.
It is a clever play on words because, of course, somebody would have to be able to think abstractly in order to get a pun. Puns themselves can also be very funny, and very clever. It is best not to overdo it with puns, though. Just sprinkle them in from time to time and you should be just fine.
5. Liar
One of my friends keeps on insisting to me that he is a compulsive liar. I’ll never believe him. This joke is credited to Ben Bailey, an American comedian who is also a comedian and Emmy Award winner. It is a very clever play on words, and this helps to make the joke funny.
The joke itself comprises a paradox. He doesn’t believe his friend because his friend is a liar, but his friend is telling him something that he agrees with. Even if he did believe his friend, then he would still end up believing that his friend is a liar.
6. Skydiving
If at first you don’t succeed, don’t try skydiving. This joke is an adaption of the well-known motivational saying: If at first you don’t succeed, try again. For those that are unsure, skydiving is a pastime in which people jump from a plane at great height, leaving it as late as possible to open their parachutes.
The joke works because an unsuccessful skydive is likely to be fatal, so you have to get it right first time (and every time). If it doesn’t go right the first time, then you won’t get a chance to try again anyway. Fortunately, skydiving is very safe when done with experienced pros that know what they are doing.
7. Apathy
What is the difference between apathy and ignorance? I don’t care and I don’t know. Apathy is the state of not really caring about something, while ignorance is the state of not knowing something.
The joke is a very clever play on words because it literally answers the question being asked, which is what makes it funny. Of course, apathy and ignorance are not usually good characteristics, depending on the topic at hand. It is best to get as interested as you can in the right topics because it can help to make your life so much fuller, while learning about new things will help to broaden your horizons.
8. A Faster Snail
I wanted to make my snail go faster so I took his shell off. All it did was to make him more sluggish. Snails and slugs are just as slow as each other, and taking off a snail’s shell will not make the snail any faster.
The real joke lies in the fact that a snail would look very much like a slug if it didn’t have its shell. Hence, it was made more “sluggish.” Removing a snail’s shell would also kill the poor animal, so it is best to leave them be. They can be a pest in gardens, potentially killing plants and vegetables, so you might want a way to get rid of them. If you do want rid of them, then try looking for a humane solution.
9. Sleeping Grandfather
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep. Just like my grandfather did. Not like the screaming passengers who were in his car at the time. Most of us would want to go peacefully, it might be a painful and terrifying experience otherwise.
This joke works because it was clear that the grandfather was asleep at the wheel at the time. While the grandfather would have known nothing about the incident that occurred, whatever it was, his passengers would have been very much aware. It also appeals to the stereotype that old people are not safe behind the wheel.
10. Obesity in the Family
The problem is not so much that obesity runs in the family, but more so that nobody runs in the family. Gaining weight is a simple matter of taking on more calories than you burn. To overcome this, people can eat less, while they can also exercise, such as going for a run.
The joke is a clever play on words that suggests the other person is obese simply because they are lazy, and perhaps making weak excuses for their size. We should try and remember that while obesity is not healthy, we should try and encourage people to lose weight without making them feel bad about themselves.
