Signs of a Covert Narcissist
6. Blaming and Shaming
Narcissists love to play the victim. Both outward and closet narcissists use blame and shame to elevate their status among others and to retain control in relationships. However, whereas the overt narcissist will outwardly criticize and belittle others, the covert narcissist uses a much gentler approach. The covert narcissist won’t blame or shame you outright; instead he or she will tell you why something is your fault, but then contradict him or herself by saying, “It’s not your fault.”
Many covert narcissists will go so far as to victimize themselves by claiming another person’s actions hurt them. It is not uncommon for a covert narcissist to hold grudges for extended periods, either. The end goal of both the shaming and grudge-holding is two-fold: to receive reassurance and praise and to make the other party feel small. Instead of extending forgiveness, the closet narcissist will just look for the ideal opportunity to make the other person look bad.
Advertisement
