10 Hilarious Dad Jokes
A lot of Dads just love to joke around, always looking to make other people laugh at every opportunity. The thing is, however, that many Dads have some truly awful jokes. They are so bad that they are also brilliant. That, and they love to tell them repeatedly no matter how many times you have heard them.
Dad jokes often revolve around puns, bad puns. The worse the better. You will often not know that they are coming, whereas at other times you do know and are bracing yourself for the embarrassment. There are countless Dad jokes to choose from, but below we have listed some of the best.
1. Two-Thirty
What time did the Dad have to be at the dentist’s office for his root canal surgery? Tooth hurty. This one is a Dad-joke classic and some might find the joke just as painful as a trip to the dentist. If you are a fan of silly jokes, however, then this one will be somewhere near the top of your list. If you are going to the dentist for a root canal, there’s a fair chance that your tooth is causing you pain. In which case, you could say that your tooth is “hurty.” On the other hand, it could also be that the appointment is set for “Two-thirty.”
2. Milk in Bag
Cashier: Would you like the milk in a bag, Sir? Dad: No thanks, I’d rather have it in the carton. This joke has been used so many times that it can only leave others tutting and looking up to the sky. As silly as it is, however, it can still raise a smile if for no other reason than it is truly awful. There are also countless variations on the theme. For example: Would you like your coffee in a bag?
Or do you want your beer on a tray? It doesn’t matter how many times your Dad has told the joke, as they will always say it again at the next opportunity.
3. Popular Cemetery
Dad: You see that cemetery? It is really popular people are just dying to get in there. Proof that even somber topics like death are not safe from Dad jokes. People in the vicinity might be wishing that they were safe from them, though. As is quite normal for a Dad joke, this one is a play on words.
When people say they are just dying to do something, they almost certainly mean that they are looking forward to it. You can also be quite sure that very few people, if any, are looking forward to being in a cemetery. Certainly not as somebody that is buried in a grave anyway.
4. Sir Cumference
At King Arthur’s round table were a lot of knights, Sir Cumference was the fattest of all. Yet another play on words, this joke is clearly referring to a “circumference,” which is the distance of the perimeter of a circle. A fat knight will have a belly with a large circumference, and Sir Cumference is a play on that. If you thought that was bad enough, you’re not safe yet.
Just as the groans are dying down, Dad can add “He ate too much Pi.” Of course, this is yet another pun because Pi is the ratio of the diameter of a circle to its circumference, while it also refers to “pie,” which is what may have caused the knight to get so fat.
5. Ignoring the Kids
Dad’s often get accused of not listening. To be fair, it’s just that sometimes they have a lot on their mind, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still make it amusing. One popular Dad joke is for the Dad to say: That’s a strange way to start a conversation, whenever somebody complains that they are not listening. It might take a second or two to realize what the joke is, but that is quite typical of Dad jokes.
The joke is that in thinking that you have just started the conversation with a complaint about them not listening it means that they were not listening.
6. Lifesavers
Did you hear about the Dad who invented lifesavers? Apparently, he made a mint. After the groans have died down, this one is at least likely to raise a smile in some instances. Again, it is the sheer silliness of the joke that is likely to be amusing. Lifesavers are a type of candy, shaped like a solid ring with a hole in the center.
They come in various fruity flavors, while you can also get a mint variety. Hence, he made a mint in a literal sense and, considering lifesavers are very popular, he would also have made a mint in the context of making a lot of money.
7. Little Hoarse
Why did the pony go to the pharmacy to buy some throat syrup? Because she was a little horse. Yet another play on words that helps to make Dad jokes both awful and brilliant. In this case, it is the word “horse” that is being played with. Ponies are not actually horses, but they do look similar, only rather a lot smaller. Hence, it is easy to see why they would be called a little horse.
In addition, the pony could also have a sore (or hoarse) throat, hence why they need throat syrup. That a pony is going to a pharmacy at all only adds to the silliness of the joke.
8. Graveyard
Going past a graveyard: I can’t be buried there (says Dad). “Why not?”, comes the reply. Because I’m not dead yet! Another joke that is making light of an otherwise morbid theme. You’d think that graveyards are no laughing matter, but that doesn’t stop Dads from telling their jokes.
Again, it’s the silliness that slowly seeps in and forces a smile no matter how bad the joke really is. It is obvious that a living person should not be buried alive, but you won’t necessarily think the joke is going there when the original question is asked. You think it’s a serious question, only then to be hit with the Dad-esque punchline.
9. Thinking
Hey Dad, can you please keep the noise down, I am trying to think in here. Dad: Ah, I thought I could smell something burning. Sometimes, Dads just love to play with their kids, gently teasing them. It’s all in good spirits and the best response is to tut and roll your eyes, although you might also find it irresistible to give a little giggle.
The burning reference is to suggest that the other person’s brain is hard at work and, as such, is beginning to overheat. It could also be a reference to cogs turning in the brain at a frantic pace.
10. Hiding Elephants
Why is it that you never see elephants hiding behind trees? Because they are very good at it! This one has so much silliness packed into one short sentence. You may well groan, but you might also be tempted to tell it to other people at some point. Elephants are so large that you are not likely to find them hiding behind trees because that would be ridiculous.
That you don’t see them because they are good at it is even more ridiculous. Having said that, there are some elephants that choose to live in forests, but let’s not let that get in the way of a Dad joke.
